Connection

this was really nice, especially for your first vn :3

the industrial vibe is really cool & the amount of angles and art is really impressive,, overall I really enjoyed the worldbuilding and small bits of ancillary characterization, such as the survival strats of telling the time through cutting Col's hair is really cool. also the generally shifting environment rocks :3

To me, there was this wonderful series of insights into Sirus as character and role in the world: first she's some nebulous tormentor, then the slow revelation that Col speaks of her while also equating her with being a machine, into the revelation that she's Col's lover and former crewmate. lovely

it feels relatable how col is so focused on sirus. how they've become completely emotionally dependent on their only source of company. hearing that Will also got a letter and didnt even like it naturally would feel like betrayal

this patchwork nonlinear style storytelling is really fun and engaging imo, and you did a fine job juggling everything. imo one of the things I'd criticize is the text colors. when you don't know them yet, sirus' body text and col's name label are the same color, and this didn't feel like a work with that type of reader confusion in mind. tho if it'*s intentional to showcase col's dependence on sirus, I would've leaned into it even more, perhaps even forgo name labels all together idk. but yes, small things

overall, I really enjoyed this. the small spike trap and door slam jumpscares were genuinely fucking scary and yea :3

lovely tragic characters

Congratulations on completing your first VN!  That's no small accomplishment; you should be proud~

And I enjoyed this one!  From the very first scene, I was impressed by the desolate, industrial atmosphere you established with your sound design, not to mention how the wide variety of background art did a great job painting a vivid picture of the environment and scenario.  The looooong scroll up the full height of the tower at the very beginning was delightful, heheheh~

And that's making no mention of the perverse, codependent Connection between Col and Sirus!  For all of their intentions, these girls really do bring out the worst in each other—and to that point, I would've loved to see more direct interaction between them, especially seeing how things unfold in the aftermath of the ending that uhhhhh has a little more bite to it, if you catch my drift, heh heh heh.

Once again, great work on your first VN!  I hope to see more from you going forward, heheheh~

This was cute! Well, in the sense a story about being trapped at the whims of a machine-integrated person could be. I felt like the tone and setting were very well established, even in the short length it had.